OK, so here’s the thing.
I know God is leading me to write this for many reasons, but I will give you a few.
I think about it.
My daughter is going through it.
I went through it.
and you may be, too.
So …. what is it exactly?
Fakeness.
That arbitrary point of your life that remains there but shouldn’t be there, but is because you either a) don’t want to get rid of it b) don’t know how to get rid of it c) don’t know it’s there d) don’t care
What am I talking about?
I’m talking about all you self-righteous, egotistical son of a biscuit eating bull dog, back sliding, double minded, church going “Christians”.
So … what’s my point … Good question …
My point is this.
I grew up in church. I seriously loved going to church. I was a geeky, nerdy, son of God loving Jesus freak! I loved being around my pastors and their family (most had kids my age), I loved the smell and the feel and the look of church … as well as everything in it and everyone around it.
So? And?
Well … My mother was a well … um … let’s just say I used to go to church by myself.
A lot.
While my mother either worked, slept or dated …
So, I know what’s it’s like for you to not be able to trust your parent(s). I know what it’s like wondering if they are ever going to change. I know what it’s like trying to do the right thing when you watch your parent(s) do all the wrong things.
BUT THEN … just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse my mother met and married a Baptist preacherman! Yippy. The skies were looking brighter everyday. Now, I didn’t start trusting her over night now ya hear. It took a while.
After she married him, things started to change. Her life started to change. I liked what I saw. It was good. I’m not saying ALL was good, but for the most part … life was good for me.
BUT THEN … I started listening. I started hearing things. I started paying attention to the things around me. They weren’t lining up. There were square pegs being forced into round holes all around me. I started disliking my mother and my new found step father. I started disliking church; the smell, the look, the people, the whole nine yards.
I started disliking God. And questioning his existence … and his so called love for mankind.
Yeah, right!? What love. My life sucked. We moved about 50 gajillion times. Had been to about 10 stabillion churches and heard maybe say about 100 billion trillion lies. All from my mother and my step father.
Now, I didn’t know the Bible as I do now, but I knew something wasn’t right. Something wasn’t adding up. Something was wrong with the whole “walk the walk – talk the talk” thing.
Here’s my point.
I know what it’s like to look at a church and all of it’s people in that nice neat building and that beautiful steeple. I know what it’s like to lose the appeal. I know how it feels to be with someone who says all the right things but doesn’t LIVE it.
It sucks butt. It does. It really does.
You lose heart, you lose faith. You feel like it’s best to just do things YOUR way … I think Burger King has the right philosophy … have it your way. Right? Ya follow?
But guess what? Having it your way doesn’t solve all the problems in your life because of all the fakeness surrounding you. It doesn’t. It’s like taking a midol for ovarian cancer.
You may think drinking, smokin a joint, sniffin some blow, shootin up or sleeping around will solve it … well, it is fun. It does dull the pain. I will admit to that.
But what do you do when there’s no more blow? marijuana? drugs? booze? men? money?
Then what?
Whatcha gonna do?
I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to turn to lots of other things because God didn’t live up to your standards. But the TRUTH of the matter is this: listen up …
God isn’t the problem … HIS PEOPLE ARE!
We are the problem. You are the problem.
I AM THE PROBLEM!
You heard me.
I don’t s-s-s-sstutter.
The problem with God’s people is this: we think we know better than God. We think we know it all. We think we know what’s best for other people. We think we know what’s best for the church. We think we know what’s best for ourselves.
And in that, we forget about God and we forget about love and we forget about loving others.
My Daddy, his lovely wife and their three children (as well as my full brother) won’t go to church. Ya know why? Church people. Us. we.
You and me.
They are watching. They see how we live. And they can’t for one minute imagine what our God can do for them when the same God makes us …. ready? lie, steal, cheat, hate, back stab, back bite, gossip, slander, should I continue? Ok. being rude to the server at the restaurant, being rude to the lady in the restroom taking care of the toiletry, being rude to the cashier at Wal-mart, being unkind to the driver in front of you, being impatient with the person who put you on hold … should I go on? ok, I won’t.
I am guilty of this.
And so are you.
But things can change.
You can change.
I am so angry with the way we live our lives. We call ourselves Christians and the way we live turns those who don’t know God away. They don’t even want to know God because of how they see us live our lives.
My Daddy won’t go to church. Not even with me. He thinks he doesn’t need God.
Yet, my mother and some others in my family can’t wait to throw the church at them. Telling them how they need God … they need church.
HELLO! They ain’t blind, deaf and dumb people. Wake up!
So, what to do …. what to do …
Stop telling others what they need. They don’t need you telling them. Just live your life as Christ would expect you to and they will be watching you.
Be honest with God and your self and those around you. Stop acting like a self-righteous prig who thinks they have to put on a “look at me, I’m perfect” show. We’ve seen it. No ones buying it. The show’s over. Hang it up!
Admit when you are wrong. HELLO! You out there! Admit when you are wrong. Admit you aren’t perfect. YOU, yes you … you make mistakes. Even your pastor does. I know my step dad did … trust me I lived with him. He make a boat load. And that’s ok. He is not perfect.
Admit you are ONLY HUMAN. You can’t fix people. Only God can … and I don’t believe he has you listed as his right hand man … that would be Jesus. Ya know that one WHO died for you? … remember? So stop trying to do God’s work for him. He don’t need your help.
Accept those around you for WHO THEY ARE. God made them that way. They are who they are. Accept it. Accept the fact that they are who they are to, I don’t know, maybe …. teach you a thing or two. Ever think about that? … maybe you should start.
Say you are SORRY! If you know you screwed up. If you know you haven’t lived up to the expectations of Christ and others who you are trying to win over have been watching … well … say you are sorry. Apologize for being a putz. Admit your faults and be ok with it. And for Heaven sake, don’t blame it on the weather or the cat or the spouse … you did it, you own up to it. Believe me, you might not see it right away, but sooner or later, they will start to respect you … and maybe even think of you as human rather than a uppity-prig!
If we all just stop fussing and fighting and think that everyone has to be like us, people may start to take notice and change. But the more they see us acting like we know it all the more they will turn away and not only turn you off, but turn God off as well.
God knows what he is doing. Trust him ok.
And REMEMBER what he has done for you.
I bet you haven’t always been a tighty whitey short sided individual. I bet you messed up A LOT in your past … and look how far you got … look at where GOD has brought you!
Remember what the Lord has done for you.
…. because when you even begin to think you are some how better than someone else … that is when you will begin to turn someone away. You will lose all credibility.
Trust me … I know. I’m livin it.